How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
