I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
