then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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