No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
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