She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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