id be glad to
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
