Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
