I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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