No stitches, just platelets and will power
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
