let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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