Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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