hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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