Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
