i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
