Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
