I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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