forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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