Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
how drunk are you?
Several
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
