I am puke
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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