Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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