Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I will be naked everywhere
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
