I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
