i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
