We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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