this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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