Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We need to get me chipped asap
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
