Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
