Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
