I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
