This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
