Farmville is her only friend.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
