Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
