A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
