Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
