everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
