You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
