She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
