my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
