this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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