Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
