If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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