just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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