is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
