Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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