these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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