dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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