Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
