i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
