If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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