he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize