You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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