Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
