I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I smell like Dick and happiness
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
