No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
