Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
