we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
