she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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