non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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