i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Another day, another engagement, another cat
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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