I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
