I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I woke up under a house in Key West
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
