i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
