the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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