For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
MIDGETS
????
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize